I love a good boba, but there is a lot of bubble tea in Newmarket. Like, a suspicious amount. They seem to just keep on coming… which begs some questions. How do they all stay in business? How do customers choose? Is this somehow a highly profitable industry? Is it just an easy front for money laundering? How much better can one bubble tea be than another? And so, in the name of science, Chesney and I have decided to investigate.
Not investigate the money laundering; that ain’t my business.
But investigate what could possibly be so different about each of these places to keep them all alive. We’re doing a bubble tea tour. A tasting, if you will. On Broadway Street alone there are 6 bubble tea shops within a 5 minute walk, and we are going to try them all… today. There’s so much bubble tea in Newmarket I think we might actually die if we tried to drink more than this in one day.
Hell, this much might even kill us, we’ll see.
Here’s our route
Important update:
Most of these shops are gone or have been replaced. I’ve noted the closed ones so you don’t go looking for them. However! If you’re in New Zealand, I promise you can still find a ton of excellent bubble tea in Newmarket.
Today we’re rating each shop by considering the atmosphere, price, and Instagrammability.
We’re going to buy 1 milk tea at each stop and share it between the two of us.
Ratings will be recorded on a scale of 1 to 5 stars ★.
Ok...uhhh... Let’s go drink every bubble tea in Newmarket.
Wu Cha
Stop 1! Feelin’ good. Feelin’ optimistic. Bubble tea is the best!
We’re the only people here because it’s 12:15pm and they just opened. Speedy service, 10/10 even though that’s not part of the rating.
We order the Wukong Black Diamond Milk Tea with Pearls. Part of the deal today is that we have to get milk tea at each place, though this shop definitely seems like it specializes in fruit teas. I am certain we’ll regret this milk-only rule later, but it seemed like the only way to give each shop a fair and balanced comparison. Which is obviously highly important. For science.
This is what I’m having for breakfast, so for the moment I’m stoked about it. There’s a very faint coffee-ish flavour which is an extra bonus for Chesney because he’s a coffee addict.
Atmosphere ★★★★
The wall covered with pink roses is a nice touch but somehow clashes with the otherwise sterile environment. All 3 women working behind the counter are wearing hygienic face masks that look like they belong in future space hospitals. [This was pre-COVID y’all]
I like that they’re not breathing into my beverage… but I feel a little like I’m going in for surgery. The cool Asian pop music wins back some points though.
Price ★
$7.50????? You could get 1 and a half Dominoes Pizzas for that price. Defo a little extreme for some milk and some sugar ballz.
Instagrammability ★★★★
The cups come venti-sized in tall skinny takeaways that, according to Chesney, look like they’re “straight off the Death Star.” I don’t really know what that means. They look great in front of the floral wall, and while we got a milk tea, the pink dragonfruit slushy will no doubt get you a bunch of likes.
Oriental Tea - now closed
I know I just said the plan was to get a regular milk bubble tea at every place so we can make a fair comparison… but we’re over that. We’re still committed to milk teas every time, but if we’re drinking 6 of these puppies, we need a little more excitement. Here we order a Matcha Milk Tea.
It starts our pretty plain tasting, and we actually wonder if we got the wrong order. The matcha flavour is there but verrry subtle and honestly pretty lame. Defo ordering something else next time. When I picture any matcha beverage, I expect it to be a strong earthy green in both colour and taste. A wee bit disappointing.
But we’re still on that milk tea buzz! Ready to see what the next bubble tea in Newmarket has to offer.
Atmosphere ★★★
Outdoor seating is a big advantage over the others, making it a great spot for people-watching on Newmarket’s busiest street. The ceiling is covered with colourful paper umbrellas, and a pink wishing tree sits by the door. Very cute, very relaxed.
Price ★★
$6.80 for our Matcha Milk Tea. They have a club card for discounts, but it’s a $15 buy-in with a 12% discount on future purchases, so I think that means you need to buy like 10 before you see a return on your investment? I can’t do math.
Instagrammability ★★★
If you can get a cool angle that includes the ceiling or pink tree, you’re set. If you see something weird happen while people-watching and manage to capture that, that’s potentially Instagrammable.
OOO NoB!B! - now closed
This tea shop just opened yesterday!
I told you they kept coming. Don’t quote me on the name though I’m still very confused and uncertain. I tried to check the internet but even Google doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
We’re feeling extra optimistic about this place. Defo getting a little milk belly…. but feelin’ good overall. We get lucky and arrive just as two retro egg chairs filled with pink fuzzy pillows become free.
OOO NoB!B! (or whatever) isn’t really a bubble tea shop, but more of a dessert haven. They only have one bubble tea on the menu, so we order a Sun Moon Lake Pearl Milk Tea. Some young girls order a cotton candy ice cream thing I can only describe as a cluster-fuck of sugary shit. Six-year-old me would have lost her mind.
Two different sets of people start stalking us and creeping closer from different angles as we finish our tea. They want the fancy egg chairs. The moment we start collecting our stuff and getting ready to go, both groups basically lunge to reach the table first. We’re being swarmed. It’s intense and I’m scared. I don’t even look back to find out who won.
Atmosphere ★★★★★
A balls to the walls Barbie fever dream. Everything is pink. There is a mini ball pit (not big enough to swim in or anything), and the egg chairs are worth fighting for. A Drake-only playlist blares over the speakers.
Price ★★★★★
$4.80 is the cheapest on the strip and honestly just as good. Nothing special, but you’re not really here for the quality, are you?
Instagrammability ★★★★★
I mean, please. It doesn’t get much better than this. Everyone in here is snapping pic after pic. Egg chairs? Prime. Pink ball pit? Smash hit. That cotton candy ice cream thing? Delightful.
Tearaffe - now closed
Stop #4. Gettin’ lethargic. Hurts just a little.
We don’t even get to walk it off in between tea shops, because Tearaffe is like 7m away. We ask for their most popular tea, which is apparently the Oolong Herbal Jelly Milk Tea.
Ok nope nope. Big nope. The jelly was a mistake. Very long. Sneaks up on ya. Feels like you’re drinking worms. Not for me.
My tea drinking partner is falling into a dark place. Too full of milk. Optimism starting to wane. No hope for the future. The light is leaving his eyes.
I’m not quite so distressed, but am not exactly as stoked as I was this morning. At this point though… if we quit… we’ll have drunk 4 bubble teas in one afternoon for nothing. We have to complete the strip, for the blog! It’s good for the plot. Good lord I hope someone reads this. Someone. Anyone.
Atmosphere ★
Not great. Pretty bland. I think they’re going for a minimalist Scandinavian vibe but it just feels a little dull. Maybe our standards are too high after the pink place. I swear I’m not just bitter about the jelly worms.
Price ★★
$6.50 is on the pricey side, and for what? Worms?
Instagrammability ★★
They have one cool wall, though I disagree with its message.
Okay, so now we’ve had almost a litre of milk each. It’s not even been 2 hours since we started. Can one overdose on milk? Some lady overdosed on water once, so I’m pretty sure you can.
Gong Cha
This one is a classic and a big chain, so if you’re a bubble tea fan you’ve likely had it before. There’s a Gong Cha here on broadway, and one in the new mall about 200 metres away. We’re breaking the rule and swapping out another heavy dairy milk tea for a Winter Melon Green Tea (milkless). A cry for help.
I actually think I’m on a bit of a sugar high right now and feeling both exhausted and energetic all at once. In an annoying way. Especially for poor Chesney, who is only exhausted.
Atmosphere ★★
I think I’ve seen these in other parts of the world, and it’s busy here so it must be a fan favourite.
It’s one of the older tea shops on Broadway, though they’re constantly opening and closing so that’s not saying much, but it looks tired inside. The brown leather couches are scratched and worn in, but still kinda cozy.
Price ★★★★
$5.10, very reasonable.
Instagrammability ★
Meh. Nothing special. The map on the wall appeals to me but, it would. I love all maps. Other than that, there isn’t much to make it stand out for a ‘gram post.
Tiger Sugar - now closed
Good lord. We’ve made it to the end of the road. I want to drink this then go curl up in a ball somewhere.
Chesney quote: My cup overfloweth, and soon shall I.
I promise he doesn’t always speak like that tho. This abundance of milk tea has changed him.
We order a Brown Sugar Milk *gags* Tea.
Atmosphere ★
Legit lame. Maybe I’m just grumpy. Obviously, nothing was going to follow the pink barbie dream house, but I can’t really see any reason you would come here over any of the others. It smells like freshly sawn wood. The gaping holes in the walls make it the perfect place for those who love combining the sweet taste of bubble tea with the thrill of DIY renovation shows.
Price ★★★
$5.50, which I consider v. reasonable. You’re not paying for the comfort of the venue though; take it to go.
Instagrammability ★
If you could get a good shot in front of the hipstery wooden deer mount by the cash register then that could be cool I guess. The drink itself looks pretty nice… but nothing special. Tiger Sugar? Where are the tigers? Why is there a vague deer theme? Very misleading.
Wu Cha and Gong Cha are the two reigning champs of the bubble tea in Newmarket adventure.
Not because it’s actually better or anything, but because it’s the only bubble tea in Newmarket that survived the test of time. I guess the secret is putting “Cha” in the title.
I am full af. Get me a stretcher. We’re goin’ home.
Was this worth it? No. Would I do it again? Absolutely not. Do I suggest you do it?
I IMPLORE YOU NOT TO.
Just pick one. Try a different one the next day. Do anything else.
Our life-threatening research has revealed that, at the end of the day...
it’s all the same.
For some other weird life choices I’ve made, check out the Daily Door page to see a collection of doors. At least this obsession can’t result in a milk overdose.